We know so little.

Human beings are so easily deceived of how much we know.

We can’t really blame anyone for this. It is so easy to make this assumption because truly, all around us, humanity is making significant discoveries in science, medicine and technology. It’s safe to assume that at least we know that much. For someone like me, it’s been so easy to convince myself of how much I know. I love being right, and I usually am. I have always excelled at academic endeavours, no matter how strenuous. People come to me with problems and I can…

Twitter gives me the best things.

It has given me such amazing friends, sisters and lovers. But one of the most underrated things Twitter has given me is the discovery of beautiful music. Sometime ago, I asked someone on my timeline for a sexy time playlist full of Nigerian music. Onehi (shout out to you girl!), was very kind to send me a link to one that she created. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I continue to, every day. …

Photo Credits: Fifo Adebakin

I am deeply in love with myself. Well, on most days.

But for this to have even happened in the first place, I needed to get to know myself. And so, I did.

I learnt about the good things and the bad things. I learnt (and am still learning everyday), everything I can learn about myself. This is what being self-aware means to me and it has changed my life completely. I am a much more confident and secure person because of this. I am also kinder, and softer because of my self-awareness. …

Sunday Morning in Bwari

At this point, it seems like worrying is an integral part of the human experience.

Every single time I successfully battle anxiety in one area of my life, another battle pops up before I can even catch my breath. Journaling really helps me. There is something about putting everything on paper that calms me down. Right next to that, poetry has also been an excellent source of calm for me in distressing times. Today I will be sharing with you, three poems that have lines that have been so good for calming me down that I have memorised and chant…

Art Credit goes to Rume (@ Yinkore on IG and Twitter)

It is with great disdain that I have to say this in the year of our Lord 2021; but I will say it regardless. You cannot shame women for expressing their sexuality. Women do not need to be sexually ‘pure’ — there is no such thing because purity presupposes the existence of shame and we do not do that over here) — for you to respect them and treat them with dignity.

Too many young girls and women are subjected to purity culture through their socialisation and indoctrination. We are told that we must keep ourselves ‘pure’ for men, that…

Marble Pieces in Lekki Arts and Crafts Market. Taken by MA Okupe

I am such a sucker for love.

I love love. In all the many forms in which it presents itself. I love familial love. Nothing like a mother’s embrace, my father’s mouth spilling with laughter and being chased by my sister as we display the exuberance of youth. I love the love of sisterhood. Of my best friend completing my sentences, drinking wine with my best girls and laughing till we’re breathless with tears in our eyes. All forms of love are so beautiful.

What we must always remember that what makes love so beautiful is the vulnerability that makes…

21 was an exceptional year.

This time last year, I could not drive, I did not have a law degree and I was afraid of love. Today, I drive (horribly), I am on my way to becoming a legal practitioner and I have risen in love, in the most spectacular way. In the year that has passed I have learnt deep lessons of surrender and open hands. 21 taught me, showed me, the abundance that is mine in life. …

When I said I was going to teach my body how to find home in this new city, I never knew it would be this hard. I either underestimated Bwari or I overestimated myself. If you have been to Bwari, I think you will agree with option one. After shedding hot tears and getting over it, I think I can say things are getting better and that I’ve found my feet a little better now.

A good sign about me feeling better here is my being able to draw inspiration from my surroundings. Like I’ve said in the past, Bwari…

Art by Rume (@Yinkore on Twitter and IG). Credits given.

All women matter. All day, every single day.

The 8th of March is celebrated as International Women’s Day, with the whole of the month of March being set aside to celebrate women and champion our causes. Sounds like such a wonderful thing, right? Well maybe all that glitters, is really not gold. Maybe society (and men) hide under a banner of activism for one day/month and then return to their default of putting women’s issues on the back burner. Maybe they forget that improving women’s quality of life should be a continuous effort, year round that does not need a…

Taken by Fifo Adebakin (2017.)

The last time I passed for slim was on my sixth birthday.

Since that point in my life and upwards, I have only grown fatter and fatter. As a result of society and even my own family’s reaction to my body, I have had a long and tumultuous journey with self esteem and self-love. I turned 21 last year and I think that was the first time I felt a hundred percent at peace with my body and not trying to frantically change it.

Mofiyinfoluwa Okupe

We will always have words 🤍

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