Love and Other Drugs and All The Endless Possibilities.
We all feel it, that longing deep within our hearts to be seen, to be held, to be understood. We yearn for our hands to be held, to share the intricacies of our lives with someone who loves us, understands us, wants what is good for us. I often write about this longing; matters of the heart have always presented as very serious to me and I have always treated them with seriousness, care and a delicateness that continues to surprise everyone that comes to know me. I am the OG lover girl; heart a forever fountain. And so when Boluban played me the first track of his EP Love and Other Drugs, I saw in him that same commitment, that same delicate attention to the matters of the heart and I knew immediately that I wanted to be a part of the project in any way I could.
Music, that distant cousin of poetry has always been of immense importance to me and to my creative practice and most of all to me as a lover. I remember songs because of the people I encountered them with. Frank Ocean’s Pink + White in my old White Corolla driving down Third Mainland Bridge at sunset. The Weeknd’s Star Boy blaring from the speakers of my sister’s car. My brother jamming MOJO AF with me early on a Monday morning. Music binds me to people, always has and always will.
I was first a poet before I became an essayist and listening to the smooth, almost hypnotic vocals Boluban spun on the first track Raindrops as he crooned with heart-stirring honesty: ‘‘worry left my heart since you dug out all the walls deep inside me’, the poet in me woke up again and I ran to the page to write New Dawn, which is the Introduction to the EP, (which can be played via this link on Apple or Spotify). These are the words I wrote, and Boluban produced music to accompany my voice and the product wowed even me, showing me how the voice animates words on a page and fills them with unmissable life. It was such a thrilling experience for me, engaging in the musicality of my work in this way:
NEW DAWN.
in the warmth of candlelight, i am reminded that love leaves no room to hide. in this place, even closed mouths speak, even what is unspoken can be heard, even what is hard will still become soft as petals wet with morning dew. dark places will unravel like the coming of dawn as rays of light break through even the deepest night. a new day dawns, rippling with a thousand possibilities, each one enchanting, each one calling you by name, each one glorious mirror revealing your beaming, beaming face. welcome. to a place where eyes meet eyes. where hands find hands, where souls see souls. come face to face with ocean-deep longing. do not just stand at the shore. wade in. immerse yourself. swim in these divine waters. go under, and never, ever come up for air.
The five track EP takes us through the corridors of a man who is scared of love’s vulnerability even as he yearns for its safety. On Raindrops, set to a rich melody with a deep bass that carries us under, he asks a lover ‘how is it you found love deep inside my flaws?’ — a question that we often ask ourselves when confronted by pure and honest love that sees us even in our imperfections. The song’s chorus closes with this line that I always love to hear ‘never thought i’d see the love from your eyes, I don’t know how you pulled it off, you’re mine’ — ah! A sound I love! The sound of a man realizing his good fortune and expressing mild disbelief LMAO. The next track Walls made me think of my favorite James Baldwin quote that we cannot risk love without risking humiliation. As someone who is obsessed with vulnerability, I loved Walls because it showcases all the ways in which a hardened heart can never truly find love, that in order to feast on the fruit of love, we must be willing to expose ourselves, no matter how terrifying it seems. With those same honey-smooth vocals, Boluban pours out his fears ‘when I break these walls, where will I go?’ quickly followed by ‘you’ll love me hard, and make me soft’ — an ode to the power of love to transform and to heal. In the next two tracks LVMH and Dopamine, he explores the concepts of our appetites endless as the ocean for both tangible and intangible things, anything to make us FEEL. The EP closes out with Legacy, a feel-good, quick tempo song about what exactly we do as artists, the risks we run when we take up creative work as life work, a theme I strongly resonate with, as someone who abandoned certainty for the gentle steadiness of authenticity.
I love this project and it made me pause and think deeply about our desires and all the ways in which we perform in order to satisfy them, and what it would look like to shed all that performativity and feed our souls. This Valentines Day, I invite you to Love and Other Drugs, to share in my work and in the work of another great artist as we contemplate what it means to love and be vulnerable in these times, to create for ourselves lives that please and truly sate the cry of our souls.
Would love to know what you think about the sings, which were your favourite and what they made you think about!
Boluban — born Boluwatfe Mayode — is a recording artist, songwriter and producer based out of Lagos Nigeria. His sound is a blend of R&B, pop and Afrobeat music. He uses his unique style of melody to tell relatable stories that come alive in the listener’s mind. Find Boluban on Twitter and Instagram.
